coneheads & puns

hey look, its the Headless Horseman! no wait, that’s just Buddy with an E-collar on… poor guy :0(

he injured his tail, so to let it heal without him constantly nibbling on it, the collar has to be used. its kind of funny at times, watching him knock all over the house, he’s become our personal furniture re-arranger. but also kind of sad looking at the same time – look at this mopey face!

B: "My head's heavy, my tail's heavy... I don't like this at all"

lightening the mood, a total Mel-ish email was forwarded to me the other day, i think i cracked up out loud at just about all of these :0)

ALL PUNS INTENDED

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” says Dolly.
“It’s true; no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know, I amputated your arms!”

13. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam!”

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said. “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named ‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him ‘Juan.’ Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

19. Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good) … A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by nance on 2011/11/30 at 13:46

    Awesome made me laugh. But hugs to poor buddy

    Reply

  2. What happen to the Bud Bud!? Do you wanna….take that cone off your head? Does Lexi tease him in his cone?

    Reply

    • Posted by Mel on 2011/12/01 at 09:28

      we’re not really sure, its either a hot spot that he wouldnt leave alone, he whacked it really hard into something or got it stuck somewhere… we’ll know more when he goes back next tuesday for his checkup. Lexi was a monster when he first got home, thought the collar and his tail were new chew toys, but by yesterday afternoon she was cuddling with him on their beds… i think she can tell hes not feeling well and needs to take it easy.

      Reply

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