>more language funness

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this funness came through in an email this morning and had me rolling… always a sucker for fun with the english language
A backward poet writes inverse.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.


ps – HAPPY ST. PATRICK’s DAY

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